Ain't What It Used To Be
Ever since I've returned from Prague, I've been in flux. I'm perpetually hovering on decisions based completely on events I cannot control.
What job will I get? Where will I get it? WHEN the hell will I get it?
I came back to New York City partly because getting work here for me has always been easy. Well, not this time. At least, not yet.
More importantly, since returning to NYC, I've made an important discovery: I'm not entirely sure I even want to be here.
This is a surprising revelation considering I've always been about the city: the diverse food, the tumultuous vibe, the fabulous fashion and, especially, the lekker men. But not even they are the same. I know over time, cities and the people in them can change but what I'm discovering is, some changes are not necessarily for the better. Not even in New York. Punctuating that thought is the notion that Mr. Big is gay, or is probably gay and men who fit in that same category, unfortunately for them are painted with the same brush and are then more-than-likely gay. That dubious status is quite enough for me.
And the club scene, the CLUB scene has been completely wack. It's inexplicable. It's all about paying $20 to get in, which I don't, $15 for a cocktail, which I refuse to do and music that blows instead of bumps.
Another annoying thing about my city — get this, it's not the tourists but the transplants. New York has become an interpretation of what people born elsewhere percieve it to be. So by that logic, the city is, relatively, FAKE. It's become a real-life television version of itself. This idea first came to me when I went to the premiere of the BET show, Harlem Heights, a loosely-termed 'reality' show about twenty-somethings living it up in my neighborhood, Harlem. The thing that got on my last nerve was just one of the main players were actually from New York let alone Harlemworld.
How can these people have an understanding of this city, that neighborhood beyond its surface, which in the last decade has been gentrified to be more palatable to the non-diverse part of our population? Right, they can't.
Take that notion and magnify it by 8 million and what you get is an unrealistic interpretation that is quickly becoming the standard by how people view what used to easily be one of the greatest cities on Earth.
After returning from three weeks in warm Atlanta during March, I was even more dejected about New York and what it's currently offering. By contrast, Atlanta's vibe, fashion and food hit the spot. Not to mention, its quality of life. The jury is still out on the men as it has one of the most concentrated populations of gay black men outside of San Francisco. But, at least, most of them are openly gay. And don't we know what havoc the closeted ones wreak on people's lives? Anyway, according to some of the relationships I've been witnessing lately, I don't know if a steady man is something I want or need. They seem to complicate rather than compliment the average woman's life. Maybe that's just me? Uh, no.
Believe you me, the irony that Atlanta is probably as cool as it is because of all the New York transplants isn't lost on me. Perhaps, that's what it is: all of the cool people from up top relocated to The Dirty leaving New York without and Hotlanta absolutely peachy.
My decision where to live isn't the only one in flux. I've reconsidered reinventing my career once again. Not in the Madonna sense of pointy bras and and a gay entourage, although that wouldn't be bad, considering recent events. One could use the counsel. But in the way she continually redefines herself to keep her career on track.
Technical writing isn't as sexy as a Madonna switch-a-roo, which includes suspect relationships with women. But it will keep me in the game and pad my pocket all at once. That's a game I'm bound to win, sooner rather than later.
What job will I get? Where will I get it? WHEN the hell will I get it?
I came back to New York City partly because getting work here for me has always been easy. Well, not this time. At least, not yet.
More importantly, since returning to NYC, I've made an important discovery: I'm not entirely sure I even want to be here.
This is a surprising revelation considering I've always been about the city: the diverse food, the tumultuous vibe, the fabulous fashion and, especially, the lekker men. But not even they are the same. I know over time, cities and the people in them can change but what I'm discovering is, some changes are not necessarily for the better. Not even in New York. Punctuating that thought is the notion that Mr. Big is gay, or is probably gay and men who fit in that same category, unfortunately for them are painted with the same brush and are then more-than-likely gay. That dubious status is quite enough for me.
And the club scene, the CLUB scene has been completely wack. It's inexplicable. It's all about paying $20 to get in, which I don't, $15 for a cocktail, which I refuse to do and music that blows instead of bumps.
Another annoying thing about my city — get this, it's not the tourists but the transplants. New York has become an interpretation of what people born elsewhere percieve it to be. So by that logic, the city is, relatively, FAKE. It's become a real-life television version of itself. This idea first came to me when I went to the premiere of the BET show, Harlem Heights, a loosely-termed 'reality' show about twenty-somethings living it up in my neighborhood, Harlem. The thing that got on my last nerve was just one of the main players were actually from New York let alone Harlemworld.
How can these people have an understanding of this city, that neighborhood beyond its surface, which in the last decade has been gentrified to be more palatable to the non-diverse part of our population? Right, they can't.
Take that notion and magnify it by 8 million and what you get is an unrealistic interpretation that is quickly becoming the standard by how people view what used to easily be one of the greatest cities on Earth.
After returning from three weeks in warm Atlanta during March, I was even more dejected about New York and what it's currently offering. By contrast, Atlanta's vibe, fashion and food hit the spot. Not to mention, its quality of life. The jury is still out on the men as it has one of the most concentrated populations of gay black men outside of San Francisco. But, at least, most of them are openly gay. And don't we know what havoc the closeted ones wreak on people's lives? Anyway, according to some of the relationships I've been witnessing lately, I don't know if a steady man is something I want or need. They seem to complicate rather than compliment the average woman's life. Maybe that's just me? Uh, no.
Believe you me, the irony that Atlanta is probably as cool as it is because of all the New York transplants isn't lost on me. Perhaps, that's what it is: all of the cool people from up top relocated to The Dirty leaving New York without and Hotlanta absolutely peachy.
My decision where to live isn't the only one in flux. I've reconsidered reinventing my career once again. Not in the Madonna sense of pointy bras and and a gay entourage, although that wouldn't be bad, considering recent events. One could use the counsel. But in the way she continually redefines herself to keep her career on track.
Technical writing isn't as sexy as a Madonna switch-a-roo, which includes suspect relationships with women. But it will keep me in the game and pad my pocket all at once. That's a game I'm bound to win, sooner rather than later.
Posted by LoisLane at Saturday, April 11, 2009 1:02 PM 
Categories: Times in Life
Tags: career gay Harlem Heights Atlanta women Harlem city life New York dating men
Categories: Times in Life
Tags: career gay Harlem Heights Atlanta women Harlem city life New York dating men
You know what's funny? You're saying a lot of the same things about New York that a lot of people say about Atlanta! Especially the natives who are quick to tell you that transplants have basically ruined Atlanta (of course as a transplant, I disagree).
Point of reference: the television show The REAL Housewives of Atlanta. That train wreck of show a) didn't have any true housewives and, b) none of them were from Atlanta. They portrayed what Atlanta is not really like for nearly everyone here, save for those who make goo-gobs of money, live fantabulously, but are as fake as a big nose and glasses.
I think you have a lot in NY that we have here in ATL: people who come to town trying to act like they are in this big town. It's a drag...
I've been in Atlanta for close to ten years now and can say this with some certainty: it ain't what it was and will probably never be what it wants to be. But it is a cool place to live.
Oh, that Hotlanta warmth you found in March? Forget it! We had light snow showers here on Monday; 75 degrees and some sun three days later; now its is 60, cloudy and chilly.
Welcome to Atlanta....
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I imagine it is hard for anyone who knows and loves their city to watch it turn into something else. I'm completely against the entire 'reality' show movement because it is anything but. I really can't co-sign watching other people's lives when I have my own to live. However, I have been known to catch a couple with a close relative of mine but I wouldn't do it on my own.
The sad part is, people come to NY and now, Atlanta to make it big. It holds dreams and hopes for people who then become seduced by the money and celebrity they both yield. You have to be a completely grounded person for it not to effect you and, sadly, the current generation has been seduced by television images since the first bling videos aired more than a decade ago.
And Add, Atlanta's coldest day is still more than 10 than our warmest. Welcome to New York where the wanna be players, play.
Thanks for reading!
LL
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Touche!
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Very good and iteresting blog, Miss Ailene!
I love the way you write. Good Job!
Here in the south is bunch of people from NYC. I was wonderin why.. now I know. u helped me understand.
Let's make the roof on fire in the Dirty South-$10 for gettin in, $6-7 for yummy drinks.
Bye-Bye overpriced NYC!
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LOL...
Door: Free
Drinks: Bought by someone else
Fly time with Kitty Kat: Priceless!
But, NYC is still a place you must come and visit! We have to do Sex in the City (without a downlow Mr. Big) our way!
Thanks for reading, sweetie!
LL
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I hear you, the place I come from is the same, same people, same clubs, same food...just...same. It's like going out or doing anything new and interesting has lost it's flavor,why? I think morale is down in this country right now, things that should be exciting are clouded with financial repercussions and things that are new, just seem to be recycled bull... I've been off the market for a while now but you couldn't pay me to date in this "new" dating pool. Everybody has got these "issues". You're Bi, or Bi Curious or searching too high maintenance, or to free spirited, too independent, or looking for something that isn't there...people just seem to be out of focus. I know that things will work out for you, you are strong, passionate, smart and beautiful any person that can't see that is just damn foolish.
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Thanks, Z.
I certainly didn't count on coming home being so difficult after such a long stay away but tis the way it is. Like they say, anything easy, isn't worth having.
Thanks for reading,
LL
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Well, you know I love ya
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Well its been awhile and sounds like NY isnt what you left it - but probably so is nothing else...its funny places and people either stand still or move forward in not always the best of ways...
Hey you can always go back overseas
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