Sexual Closure
I've been home almost two weeks and between the reunions and job interviews, all I can say: It's been interesting.
It took me about four days to get into the swing and vibe of the city. It first came last Saturday when I went shopping with my cousin at the Macy's Department store in Herald Square. I was trying to convince her that she needed to branch out and buy a pair of heels for no other reason than they were elevated and pretty. At this precise moment, a woman butted into our conversation from nowhere to offer her two cents.
Ah, it's good to be home.
Then, I left my cousin to go to what we call, 'The Spot.' This is the affectionate name we have for the hectic Dominican hair salon where you can go from having a happy, nappy kitchen to china doll straight hair all in a matter of half a day on a good Saturday. It's here where they wash, condition, roll and blow out every woman on the Upper West Side who puts down $20 + $5 + $5. If you've ever been to a Dominican shop you know about the $5 add-ons.
Back in the day, I spent many a Saturday morning putting down my $20 + $5 + $5. When I walked in, I found my old stylist, Idalia. It took her a minute before the lost gaze on her face turned to recognition. Her reaction: "You're so skinny."
Ah, it's good to be home.
An amazing two hours later, I left feeling like my old self after two years of braids and otherwise less desired coifs.
It feels good to be home.
But the best New York moment came from an old friend. Now, even though I've decided not to use his name, I must supply the backstory. About a decade ago, we used to 'date' but he wasn't ever my boyfriend. Anyway, in the years since, we've moved onto a platonic friendship — or, so I thought.
I met up with this particular old friend for dinner at his place. I was glad to see him and this guy can burn, so I was excited about the visit. With bellies full and Kona coffee poured, we got to talking about our love lives. I explained that I'm interested in someone, yada, yada, yada. Genuinely surprised by the timing (so soon after my return), he had the following suggestion to cap the evening:
"Before you do that, we should have sexual closure on our relationship."
Dear God, I have now heard it all. Thank you for this last bit of comedy before I close my eyes and die, laughing.
He, however, was serious. He went on to explain how, although our friendship would continue that he would like to share this with me one, last, time. When I overcame my shock, I explained I was uninterested in revisiting that part of our history. He continued with how I would regret it once I was settled into a routine. Don't think so. And that when I did regret it, he might not be able to help me out.
"Aw, come on. You know you want to."
No, I don't. I figured the time we 'colorful sexual euphemism here' and it turned out to be the last that was all the closure our sexual relationship needed. And I'm positive I'm not wrong.
My close circle of friends, thought it was true hilarity and one for the record books. One person said, it actually belongs on a t-shirt:
Sexual Closure
get some
What do you think? Are there people whom you need to have sex with one last time before committing to the idea of someone else? If you are in a relationship, you do regret not having sex with someone once more?
Having lived in many places around the globe, it's only in NYC do you even have to ponder situations like this. It really is great to be home.
It took me about four days to get into the swing and vibe of the city. It first came last Saturday when I went shopping with my cousin at the Macy's Department store in Herald Square. I was trying to convince her that she needed to branch out and buy a pair of heels for no other reason than they were elevated and pretty. At this precise moment, a woman butted into our conversation from nowhere to offer her two cents.
Ah, it's good to be home.
Then, I left my cousin to go to what we call, 'The Spot.' This is the affectionate name we have for the hectic Dominican hair salon where you can go from having a happy, nappy kitchen to china doll straight hair all in a matter of half a day on a good Saturday. It's here where they wash, condition, roll and blow out every woman on the Upper West Side who puts down $20 + $5 + $5. If you've ever been to a Dominican shop you know about the $5 add-ons.
Back in the day, I spent many a Saturday morning putting down my $20 + $5 + $5. When I walked in, I found my old stylist, Idalia. It took her a minute before the lost gaze on her face turned to recognition. Her reaction: "You're so skinny."
Ah, it's good to be home.
An amazing two hours later, I left feeling like my old self after two years of braids and otherwise less desired coifs.
It feels good to be home.
But the best New York moment came from an old friend. Now, even though I've decided not to use his name, I must supply the backstory. About a decade ago, we used to 'date' but he wasn't ever my boyfriend. Anyway, in the years since, we've moved onto a platonic friendship — or, so I thought.
I met up with this particular old friend for dinner at his place. I was glad to see him and this guy can burn, so I was excited about the visit. With bellies full and Kona coffee poured, we got to talking about our love lives. I explained that I'm interested in someone, yada, yada, yada. Genuinely surprised by the timing (so soon after my return), he had the following suggestion to cap the evening:
"Before you do that, we should have sexual closure on our relationship."
Dear God, I have now heard it all. Thank you for this last bit of comedy before I close my eyes and die, laughing.
He, however, was serious. He went on to explain how, although our friendship would continue that he would like to share this with me one, last, time. When I overcame my shock, I explained I was uninterested in revisiting that part of our history. He continued with how I would regret it once I was settled into a routine. Don't think so. And that when I did regret it, he might not be able to help me out.
"Aw, come on. You know you want to."
No, I don't. I figured the time we 'colorful sexual euphemism here' and it turned out to be the last that was all the closure our sexual relationship needed. And I'm positive I'm not wrong.
My close circle of friends, thought it was true hilarity and one for the record books. One person said, it actually belongs on a t-shirt:
Sexual Closure
get some
What do you think? Are there people whom you need to have sex with one last time before committing to the idea of someone else? If you are in a relationship, you do regret not having sex with someone once more?
Having lived in many places around the globe, it's only in NYC do you even have to ponder situations like this. It really is great to be home.
Posted by LoisLane at Sunday, February 01, 2009 9:22 AM 
Categories: The Egg Chronicles,Times in Life
Categories: The Egg Chronicles,Times in Life
COD here,
I once was in a relationship with this girl for 5yrs, when we decided to break up one of the things she wanted to do was have sex one last time....ie sexual closure.....So it comes in many forms. I'd say cut the BS the shit should be called....Let me tap dat ass one last time. but in your boy's case it probably was more like Damn I ain't seen you in a minute....Let me tap dat ass right now......You know me crusher of dreams....I'm out Mal....
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Mally Mal...aka COD...
I have no misconceptions about what was going on. It was just funny that it was so transparent. Usually, men are subtler than that. What's scary is that he thought I'd fall for it.
Thanks for reading!
LL
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This is hilarity at it's finest. Great story, I love it...
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It was a classic moment. It's a good thing that we are good friends because we can both laugh about it! Thanks for reading. LL
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The brother may be on to something. Maybe Marvin really had Sexual Closure in mind when he wrote Sexual Healing. And maybe they are really the same thing. Think about that.
Hell, you can't fault your ex for taking one last swing.
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Technically, he's not an ex. But somehow that doesn't change the momentum of his swing and he gets points for trying.
Yes, no, maybe?
Thanks for reading!
LL
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LOL! i've been there. And what's even worse is that i've been asked that by two different guys. One of them wasn't an ex either. It's like WTF? Why would I want to have one last go? Obviously the last time it happened wasn't THAT magical because if it was I would have stayed with that person. lol
Now back to you. That whole line of "you know you want too" is classic. If you DID, then he wouldn't have had to say that! It would have already been on by then! HA! Sexual closure, I like the title, I like the article and I like the way you handled it!!!
Write more blogs please!
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Hey Carrie!
It's great (maybe that's not the best term) you are able to relate to this on a really personal level. To think, there are men out there who believe this is a viable case for sex! SMH. I must mention you are on that 'other' coast, so it is indeed widespread.
You make a great point. If anyone really wants to, they never have to be talked into it. At least, not me.
Thanks for reading and your encouragement. I may have to continue hanging out with him just for more material!
LL
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That is hilarity! But honestly, I know many brothers -- and sisters -- who've used such thinking to get one last bump before the dance is over.
On the really real, it is only an excuse to get one last bit of booty. No one "needs" it to offer closure or clarity to a relationship! That's just plain irrational and selfish thinking and really just silly! If nothing else, it'll cloud things.
Anyway, you know there are mega-folks who fall for such....
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"On the really real, it is only an excuse to get one last bit of booty."
Um yeah! Which is why he got the gas face. LOL. What's insulting on the 'really real' is that he thought I'd fall for it. But I don't hate the brother for trying. At least, after nearly a decade, I know that I still got it to make them want IT. LMAO.
Thanks for reading, Add.
LL
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WHAT WOULD THE WORLD BE LIKE WITHOUT SEXUAL CLOSURE????? I CAN TELL YOU!!!!! A WHOLE LOT LESS GYN APPOINTMENTS...AND A WHOLE LOT LESS VISITS OF BAD MEMORIES...
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LOL. Until now, I didn't know that Sexual Closure was the normal way to end a physical relationship. You learn something new everyday!
Thanks for reading.
LL
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Wow, I must say that is some funny stuff. Do you wonder if he had practiced saying that? You handled yourself though, I'm surprised there wasn't a drink thrown in that situation.Welcome home by the way! I was just down there last week to see Mary Poppins(a must see if you have the chance)ended up dropping my glasses on tracks and missed my train and had to wait another hour for another one,lol, which landed me home at 4am! But something always happens when I go to the city to make me miss my train. I think I'll drive next time...
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You'd better be careful if you decide to drive. With a track record like that, I'd have a backup plan.
Knowing him like I do, he didn't practice it all. As a matter of fact, knowing him like I do, I believe it was heartfelt and as honest as he knows how to be. I'm not sure what scares me the most. LOL. There was no need to throw a drink in his face. I've known him for nearly a decade, so he can be honest with me. He accepted my decision, so there was no friction. Had he not and tried to force the issue, then there would have been problems.
Be sure to come back, I've SMSd with him and got more insight to his thoughts that I will share in an updated entry. 8D
Thanks for reading,
LL
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Wow, that was absolutely incredible. It never ceases to amaze me how foolish or desperate some people can be. But I do have to admit however, it was a great read and if I didn't know you were serious I'd have thought this to be a funny made up story. For him to think you'd actually fall for that line of bullshit is simply over the top. At any rate, welcome back and please, tell us more of these hilariously funny, but true, stories. Take care.
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Apparently, the men in my life are of the sort that just keep giving me material! I'm glad that you enjoyed it. It makes it all worthwhile.
Thanks for reading,
LL
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