Somewhere in Arkansas 10 year-old Timmy Smith’s mother tells him to brush his teeth and say his prayers before going to bed. After overhearing a conversation between his parents, little Timmy decides to forgo the incantation he recites every night for a bit of improvisation.

TS: Dear Jesus, I don’t talk personal to you like this but tonight is special. I heard Mom and Dad talking after Reigning Cracked-Egg Supreme’s annual speech and, well, I’m scared, Jesus. He said there are only 'signs of the economy slowing’ but I’m not so sure he’s got a clue. See, my Dad says his employer, Wal-Mart—WAL-MART, Jesus— is expecting  lay-offs and my Mom can’t find a job. My parents say our Middle Class has shrunk and soon nobody will be left. Please don’t let anymore people disappear like my friend, Bobby, from down the street. His parents couldn’t pay their mortgage after his dad was laid off and the bank took their house. But something’s wrong ‘cause the house is still there, it’s Bobby and his family who’ve gone. I sure do hope they’re alright. Things are so tight at home, I don’t drink milk anymore because it’s too expensive. Oh, please, dear Jesus, do something, anything and I don’t mean to rush you, but can you do it fast? I promise to be a real good, little boy for as long as I can. If things change, my parents say they will give me an allowance. This is supposed to be cash just for me! Wow, I never heard of such a thing before, neither did Bobby, but my parents said they used to get one when they were my age. If I get one, I promise to buy something and put it right back into the economy. In a good-boy faith effort, I even brushed my teeth like Mom said I should. Thank You. Amen.

After hearing Timmy’s prayer, heaven responds later that same night with a visit to former Sen. John Edwards’ hotel room.

Angel: John, John. Go on and wake up now.

JE: Huh? What’s going on? Lord is that You?

Edwards falls to his knees upon seeing the glowing figure at the foot of his bed.

Angel: No, John. It’s not Him. What do you think, He’s got nothing to do but come see you? Let me tell you something, the last time He took a hard look at a city down here there was fire and brimstone. The way things are going, I don’t think you Americans should be so eager to see Him, I don't think He'd get rid of just one city. Well, perhaps wiping out Washington DC would do the trick. But then again, there is the entire state of Texas. I mean, what are those idiots on the border think they’re doing? Shucks… No John, I’m an just an Angel.

JE: Oh, right. To what do I owe the pleasure, Angel?

Angel: See John, it’s like this: Normally, all your Democrat friends are busy saving oceans, whales, trees, you know how your liberal buddies are. I don’t have to tell you. But after 2000, more of them started getting on their knees and praying. He thought that might happen after He allowed Reigning Cracked-Egg Supreme to steal office. Bah! That one spread around quickly up there after some kid in Arkansas used it. Priceless, that one. Anywho, now all those praying Dems of yours got their tikes in on the act too. The kids are praying, John. The kids! It’s a whole new generation of pray-ers! He’s extremely pleased and wants to answer all of them.

JE: That was Him? In 2000?

Angel: Yeah, He saw it happening and figured He’d teach the country a lesson for impeaching the one He’d sent. Anyways, in 2004, it seemed lesson learned but Reigning Cracked-Egg Supreme was in too tight with our arch nemesis, Lucifer. See ol’ Luce took over the GOP some time around when that crook Nixon gained office and Luce’s been running it ever since. Trickle-down economics, Patriot Act, Gulf Wars I and II, especially II, are the work of the Devil, John.

JE: I’m not surprised. I expected as much, as did the nation.

Angel: It took you simple-minded humans long enough. Back to 2004, when Luce pulled a good one. He had RCES claim he was on our side, convincing many of our believers to vote for him. Didn’t He warn them there would be false prophets? Simple, just simple. While us Angels were making sure everything went smoothly in Florida, Luce stole the election using those Diebold voting machines in Ohio from Kerry for his servant, RCES. Then he possessed Kerry so he wouldn’t fight it in court, where this time the Democrats were sure to win.

JE: I remember that. I told him he should have fought it.

Angel: Ol’ Luce has been busy but that’s why I’m here, John. You’re a good guy despite your chosen profession before entering politics. A good, Christian guy, who wants nothing but better things for your country.

JE: I do. I really do. I want to stop giving tax-breaks to the wealthy and those corporate giants, whom I personally disdain. I want to boost the Middle Class, so they can pump money into our economy. I would like to bridge the gap between the American parties, so we can fix what's broken. I want to stop picking fights with other countries just so we can pilfer their natural resources. I surely would like to give a voice to the People because this country is theirs; it really doesn’t belong to the corporations or the Washington Machine.

Angel: John, you’re preaching to the choir, so shut up and listen up: He’s got a job for you.

JE: I’m ready. I’ll lead this nat—

Angel: Hold it. You ain’t gonna be President, John.

JE: No? I was hoping…

Angel: He knows what you were hoping and let you get a fair shot. But the truth is, at this stage of the game, there is no way in…*sucks Angel teeth*... You get the point. You only have 26 delegates for the Dem nod. In Florida, you finished third getting a paltry 14 percent of the total votes, John. It’s just not in the cards for you. Not now, perhaps in 2016.

JE: What about Divine Intervention, on say, my behalf?

Angel: This is it.

JE: Hmph. OK, what then?

Angel: You're gonna pull out, now.

JE: Pull out? What? But I—

Angel: Let all those praying souls, who want to make the best decision, concentrate on those other two, the ones who will make history by just being elected. If you do that, He’s prepared to deliver you the Vice Presidency. How’s that sound?

JE: Vice President?

Angel: Yuppers. It was good enough for you under Kerry, who is no longer possessed, by the way.

JE: Yeah, Veep. I could do that. I mean, I would have done it already had—

Angel: We know all that, John. Here’s what He wants you to do. Tomorrow, announce you are pulling out and let Him take care of the rest.

JE: Whom should I endorse?

Angel: Whoops, I almost forgot: No one. The best thing for you to do is keep your trap shut letting the chips fall where they may, so when the Dem Nominee is announced, you’ll fit in smoothly, no matter who it is.

JE: Well, can you tell me, since we got a deal?

Angel: John, He doesn’t do quid-pro-quo. You know that. The people have prayed and He’s moved to answer. That’s it. Take it or leave it. I gotta go now. Gotta head down to Rio.

JE: Brazil? That sounds nice. I’d like to go there.

Angel: It’s not a vacation for me, John. Rio de Janiero is overrun with cracked eggs. Last week, cracked-egg bandits hacked a women's hair off with a machete, while on a motorcycle no less and, now, there are some cracked-egg police killing petty criminals as they try to ‘clean’ the city up for Carnivale. Hahaha! The stupid things you simple-minded humans will do to each other. Sometimes I think, He should just blast the whole lot of you off the planet and give it to the amoeba. But, He’s much wiser than I. You know what He says when I say that?

JE: (frowning at the Angel’s idea) No.

Angel: He says, “Angel, there are a lot more good humans than bad. It’s just the bad ones get more press.”