Following yesterday's successful post, I decided to dump my two chief interests, news and politics, in the blender along with a few eggs. For what it's worth, here's what poured out.

Eggs Benedict: Cracked Eggs in Power

No, I’m not talking about the ‘Reigning Cracked Egg Supreme,’ I’m talking about some cracked eggs down in our neighbor to the south. Due to a specific copyright warning, I cannot paste any part of this article here, so I’ll just have to give you the crux of it in my own words. (Thanks to reader Lindsay for sending it my way.)

Eggs in some remote ‘Indian’ village in Mexico, say the hens there can’t vote. Well, I’ll be a plucked chicken. Their reason: hens don’t work enough. A quick description of what it takes to make tortillas from scratch proves this untrue. This ‘work’ deemed ‘community labor’ listed building roads along with other types of low-level, manual, back-breaking tasks. If that were a true barometer for people to vote, half of the Republican Party would have to keep their asses home come Election Day. But I digress, these eggs in power went as far as blatantly ripping up ballots cast for a renegade female mayoral candidate. When questioned by outside media, egg said (I have to paraphrase here) we don’t do things like the city.

Note to this egg: You don’t do things like the rest of the free world. Note to hens there: Move.

To be expected of eggs in power, you say? Let’s take a gander at eggs even further south checking out some cracked eggs in exotic Rio de Janiero.

Eggs Florentine: Cracked Eggs overdosed on Tabasco Sauce

These eggs are so deserving of the bin, I seriously doubt they came from a hen at all. Let me paint you a picture:

It’s a beautiful day, hen is walking to church for late-day mass. Suddenly, there’s a revving motorcycle, a long shiny blade and WHACK! Unsuspecting hen’s four-foot long mane, is hacked off with a machete by a some punk egg ready to sell it to the highest bidder.

There’s something for you. And it’s true, check out this article. That poor hen hadn’t cut her hair in 20 years and she got an on-the-fly bob by some eggs gone mad.

Note to machete-wielding eggs: Hens have guns. Note to hens in Rio de Janiero: Use them.

Egg of the Day: Cracked Egg's Mirror View

This last is my personal favorite of today's cracked-egg stories. After returning to MySpace despite yesterday’s egg debacle, I saw a note from a ‘friend’ titled “For the Concerns of Women.” Having read earlier about an online predator able to track hens and suspected of killing three, I wanted to see if it was another warning.

One click later Dante 7, as this egg calls itself, announced that it was being a good egg as sharing the secrets of egg psyche for hens who dared know. Read bulletin yourself (unchanged but font):





“Ladies I posted a statement on the mental phsyci of a different side of a mans perpestive.I wanted to shed and share some light on the subject of men and women from the deep side of a Mans heart and mind.I am only interested in your Intelligent and challenging feed back.I've been titled by some as the "SINGLE PLAYER" go figure.When meeting me; one can only speculate the image that I projected for them to see of me. However I'm here to tell you;that theres more than sight that discribes who I am.Therefore if you "DARE" take a deeper and closer look......................................................7”

Well, of course, I dared. And, to my chagrin there weren’t any life-altering revelations just unbaked, cracked-egg theories. Read on (unchanged but font):

"Monday, January 28, 2008 

A WALK ON THE MAN SIDE...
Current mood:  blessed
Category: POWERFUL Romance and Relationships

After research,great questions,a lot of listening;I've come to realize that all men cheat until we fall in LOVE. Reason being;from my perspective; is because, Men upon going out with a young lady need time to really feel a woman out for many reasons:1) We are a very visual species,and we want to be stimulated by the visual. We're not as forgiving of female corks;like you women are of ours.I know it seems like the shallowest thing;However stop being a woman for 10 minutes and appreciate this info.First of all we want a woman with an in shape body,so that when the woman decides to concieve; That her vessel can snap back into shape.Ladies you know we don't meet you pregnant,so try to understand please.Also the 2nd thing is the youth; Of course we like younger woman!!! Not too young;but young enough to have a fruitful life for the kids in case something happens to the father. I know as a man I want to change the cycle of how young men are raised in these times.For instance; I want to teach my young king to value LOVE,SELECTION,and VALUE.To be able to feel first by taking your time.I will incourage my son to stay a virgin for as long as he can.This is just the begining of my pledge to change the old man ways I came about; However ladies remember that more than half the men were'nt breaded that way;so before you want to rush in,because you let us have sex; just remember you have the power to say no til it feels right.I'm open for debates with any woman out there.If your a woman reading this,I want to say thank you for your time and patience to read alll the way through.......Until the next blog.......................................................7"

Yeah, I needed a lot of time and patience to get through that. Did I leave a piece of my mind? Oh, hell yeah, I did. Read on:

“Let me be the first to say thank you oh-so-much for putting your perspective out here like this. It takes real courage.

However, I am dismayed that men are so shallow all they can think about when meeting a potential mate is her body and its likelihood of 'snapping back', as you say, after they sow their seeds. Even more disturbing, is the idea that men want younger women only so they can have a 'fruitful life for the kids', again as you say, if something were to happen to the man. Where the hell is he going? He dying or something, or just trading up after he's pee'd on his hydrant?

Please allow me to say this and I hope I speak on behalf of women I know everywhere: my body is something you will only get close to, if you pay attention to the words coming out of my mouth. Our minds are forces to be reckoned with, and if you are hypnotized by the sway of my ass, then you will miss the best part and always, only be able to just look. And never touch.

Furthermore, if you think younger women (you have not qualified this with age, so I'm unsure of what you mean by younger) are the only ones who have the ability to lead fruitful lives, then you can't know many mature women. The smart ones, only get better with age.

I do hope that you succeed in raising your son to be a wonderful and progressive thinker. Our Black Kings everywhere need to be taught that women are not objects for men to play with. We are Queens to be worshipped.

Btw, I would love to see Az Yet release a song entitled: You are only worth the sum of the size of your waist and age. I wonder if that would make No. 1.”

Apparently, this egg is now one-fourth of that mid-90s five-egg group (that I loved, especially that egg staring directly at me from the bottom of the cover) known as (ha) Az Yet. Perhaps, it was egg Dante 7 who answered: 'Please tell us the name of your group.' 



Upon further reflection, I also added the following:

"As an aside, I would like to warn those men, who choose by merely looking at the outside package. Being that you are 100 years old, you were not a child of the 80s, but you still might remember a supermodel named Kelly LeBrock. However, in case you have forgotten, let me refresh your memory.

LeBrock was the hot ticket circa early 80s. So hot, in fact, she was cast as the 'perfect' woman in an experiment by the two Coreys of the age in the film named, "Weird Science."




Perfect lips, perfect face, perfect body. LeBrock was sooo perfect in fact, she attracted the admiration of another perfect specimen, martial artist-turned-run-of-the-mill actor Steven Segal. The two paired up and procreated. LeBrock and Segal were so proud of her perfect body they showed off her extremely expanded with-child figure in a 100-percent, transparent (see-through) dress at an awards show. Fast forward to mid-2000's when LeBrock was cast in one of those Biggest Loser-type shows as an attempt to lose the 100 pounds she couldn't stop her perfect figure from gaining 10 years after giving birth.



picture courtesy of Getty Images/VH1

Segal? Oh, he's a happily bloated figure. But I guess that's ok, since he's a man.

This cautionary tale is a warning to anyone choosing to pick a mate based on their appearance. If they do that, they are sure to get just desserts."

Note to egg Dante 7: you might look good and potentially taste good but hens see the hairline fracture. Note to hens: inspect this egg closely because the crack is oh, so obvious.

(The age reference is not a personal attack. He is listed as being 100 years old.) This egg promised to blog again. Ooo, I can’t wait until that fateful day. Oh, the things eggs will say and do to hens. It’s really a wonder hens want eggs at all.